Bill Buttlicker's Gently-Used Goods

The Dungeon: #7

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Give Me Your Last Price

Everybody plays D&D differently. Some come for the thrill of pretending to be somebody else. Others like to cause mayhem in a consequence-free environment. And everything in between.

The one truth of every D&D game is this: players will (generally) be complete assholes to imaginary merchants. They’ll bend over backwards helping maidens and puppies, but as soon as somebody tries to earn an honest living, all civility goes out the window. GTFO with trying to feed your family through medieval commerce. Villains are held in higher regard.

It’s impossible to trace the lineage of this practice back to some original sin. Perhaps what manifests in the market stalls and apothecaries of the imagination is a form of therapy. Whether you like haggling or hate it, you generally come away with the vague idea that you were the loser in the transaction.

In such a light, burning down an innocent halfling’s business makes complete sense.

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